


#Awkward

by TheBannedAuthor



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Comedy, Multi, POV Second Person, Spoilers for Summer year 1 and Summer year 2, lewis's purple shorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 12:38:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBannedAuthor/pseuds/TheBannedAuthor
Summary: At the beginning of summer, during your first year in Stardew Valley, you receive a letter from Mayor Lewis. He tells you he has lost you favorite pair of purple "shorts" and asks that you look for them. Discreetly. But, c'mon, being that they're "shorts", and purple, and the mayor's, they shouldn't be too hard to find right? Right?





	#Awkward

It’s a beautiful summer morning when you open your mailbox to find a letter from Mayor Lewis. You aren’t too surprised, Lewis has been good about updating you on important events in Stardew Valley since you moved to your grandfather’s old farm. However this letter has a much different tone than the others:

_This is embarrassing... I lost my lucky purple shorts. I'm telling you this because I think I can trust you._

_If you find them bring them back to me DISCREETLY. I'll pay well._

_Thanks._

_\- Mayor Lewis_

You give the letter a slight frown but finding Mayor Lewis’s purple “shorts” isn’t the strangest request you’ve gotten since you moved here (heck, you were just down in the mines two days ago looking for copper ore to show Clint while fighting green slimes with your new iron dagger at the same time). You can probably go look around for them in your free time- since they are shorts and purple and the mayor’s, you doubted they would be hard to find.

However, after weeks of searching (in the time you could spare while you weren’t farming, fishing, mining, fighting, or completing other errands- this job kept you busier than the one you had at Joja) you still hadn’t found the shorts. You looked everywhere you could think of- by the beach, the bathhouse, the mountain lake, the sewers, even around the mayor’s house. How many places could a man go with no pants on? You weren’t one to give up and you’d already found several items requested or lost by other members of the community. Lewis would be disappointed if you couldn’t help him out. Plus… who knows what someone else would do if they found his shorts. You dreaded the day you woke up and found them hanging from a flagpole- probably courtesy of Sam, but you wouldn’t put it past Sebastian or Abigail to play that sort of prank either.

Now it was a week until fall and you decided to head down toward the Cindersap Forest to visit Marnie’s ranch. You’d paid Robin to build a coop that would be ready by the end of the season and you were hoping to see how much chickens were worth. You had visited Marnie one of your first days in town and she’d greeted you warmly. As she was your neighbor, as close as a neighbor could be, you’d tried to keep a good friendship with her, helping her when she needed to find amaranth for her cows and such. You felt comfortable at the ranch with Marnie and Jas and you were even developing a surprising friendship with her nephew Shane (when he made an effort to greet you and didn’t just glare at you for speaking to him). Comfortable enough that you didn’t even bother to knock on the door and just walked into the front room. However, Marnie was not behind the counter like she usually was, nor was she in the kitchen in the adjoining room.

This was odd, Marnie usually stayed open from nine in the morning until about six when she’d go to the Stardrop Saloon. You wonder if she might have an appointment at the clinic today, maybe you should have called ahead. You look into the living room to see Jas’s door was closed. Obviously, she had left for class with Penny already. The house seemed empty. “Marnie?” You call, going back to the counter. The door to Marnie’s room was behind it but you’re hesitant to intrude. Sure, you and Marnie were friends but enough to go barging into her bedroom unannounced? Of course if she was in there she probably would have answered you when you called.

_C’mon you wrestle with weeds and crows and sometimes really big bugs that make your skin crawl all day you can do this._ Still hesitant, you raise a hand and knock on Marnie’s door. When no one answers you turn the doorknob and push the door open. The lights are off and the bed has been made. It’s clear Marnie had left this room hours ago. You’re about to close the door and try again another day when you see something under Marnie’s bed that makes you freeze. Could it be? No it couldn’t… unless….

Trying to keep your steps silent, although you’ve no need to since you don’t think anyone is home, you creep closer toward her bed and peer under it. Your throat goes dry.

_The purple shorts_.

You mouth something incoherent to yourself, not believing your eyes. _Why would they be there_? Oh for Yoba’s sake, you aren’t thirteen anymore you know why those are there! You pick up the shorts with your forefinger and thumb, holding them by the elastic waistband. That explains why you couldn’t find them anywhere outdoors. Of course Lewis must have been pretty preoccupied if he missed grabbing these before he left-

“What are you doing in here?”

Your mind goes into PANIC MODE and you nearly jump out of your skin. You spin around shoving the shorts in your back pocket just in time to see Shane standing in the doorway in his pajamas (more like his boxers and a white undershirt). Your mind goes blank and you automatically repeat his question, “What are you doing in here?”

“Uh I _live_ here- and I asked you first.” He cringes after raising his voice, raising a hand to his head. “Uuuuuuuugh and keep it down I’ve got a hell of a headache.”

“Oh so you… called in sick? Which is why you’re here?” _More like hungover_ , you think to yourself but are wise enough not to say out loud. Everyone knows Shane has a drinking problem but it’s really not your place to judge- especially when you’ve got the mayor’s shorts in your back pocket!

He gives you an irritated look, which you rightfully deserve, “Whaddaya think? And you still haven’t answered my first question.”

“Oh yeah. I was getting to that. I wasn’t expecting to see you here. I don’t see you much at all except for at the Saloon not that I mind seeing you at the Saloon and not that you don’t go other places except the Saloon- I do know where you work but I’m not like following you or anything- I just see you around with your uniform and I wouldn’t mind seeing you elsewhere other than the Saloon- and I don’t mean anything by that! But I don’t mean anything by _that_ either I just mean-“

“Holy shit _slow down_!”

“Right sorry!” You’re aware you’ve been saying this all in the same breath. “I just have this thing where I get nervous and I talk and can’t stop-“

“Yeah I get that.” Shane rubs his eyes, groaning to himself- most likely wondering why he has to deal with the weird new farmer after just waking up. “Why don’t you start from, you know, the beginning?” His voice is sarcastic and grouchy but not angry. Just a little frustrated. You don’t blame him.

“Yeah okay-“ You take a breath to calm yourself. “I was just looking for Marnie. She said that when I was ready I could buy a couple chickens. I have a coop built and everything.”

Shane grunts, scratching his beard- more like scruff, how can the guy have a five o’clock shadow in the middle of the afternoon? “It’s Tuesday right?”

“Um… yes.”

He gestures vaguely at the front door, “Then she’s down at Pierre’s with Caroline and all of them. They have some kind of workout group around this time every week.”

“Ohhh.” You didn’t know that. Even when you’d gone to Pierre’s on Tuesday you usually only go into the marketplace so you wouldn’t have seen everyone in the other room. “Well I guess I’ll come by tomorrow then. Thanks.”

“Whatever. Wait-“ Shane tilts his head, frowning at you. “Are you hiding something? What’s in your pocket?”

PANIC MODE ENGAGED ALERT ALERT!

“H-hiding something?” It’s good to mention that you are the _worst_ at lying so this is not gonna turn out well. “Hiding- I don’t hide- I’ve not got- I’ve never hid anything in my life or seeked or tagged or freezed or-“ Why were you naming off random playground games? “A-and you ever try to hide when things are fuzzy and people are looking- and you! How do I know you’re not hiding- something- something hiding- in your back pocket- wait you don’t have pockets but you are looking! Yeah you’re looking! At me and I- well I guess I’m looking at you and so we’ve both hid something- and found something too. Right?” You have no idea where you’re going with this but you seem to have confused Shane enough that you decide to take this opportunity to GET OUT. “Okay so now that we figured that out I’m gonna go.” You reach to the side for a door to find your still not on the right side of the room.

“…yeah that’s a window.”

“Psh- I know!” You reach down and- thank Yoba it’s not locked, that would have made you look even more foolish- “You never crawled out a window midday before? Everyone does it at night or before the sun comes up but man crawling out one in the afternoon really keeps you alive, y’know.” You duck under the awning and put one leg out. “Well guess I’ll see you later! Or not- I don’t intend on seeing you later but I don’t intend on not seeing you. Totally up to you whether I see you, and yeah I guess up to me too.” You manage to get both legs out the window, and hop down. “BYE!” You speed off, the corner of the purple shorts peeking out from your back pocket.

After a moment of stunned silence, Shane shakes his head, “Weirdo.” He turns around and goes into the kitchen.

* * *

 

You probably should have returned the shorts right to Lewis but you couldn’t find him for the rest of the day. You tell yourself you were trying to find him but really you just ended up wandering around the valley, still stunned by the recent events. Did anyone else know about Lewis and Marnie? Well, maybe not since he’d wanted this job done discreetly. Why didn’t he just ask Marnie herself if he left them there?... unless she took the shorts and hid them. But that would mean she had also been in his house at some point. Which could have been totally innocent. You’ve been inside everyone’s houses at this point, you were even invited into Elliot’s cabin on the beach last week. But the implication that Marnie and Lewis are involved…

Okay, bad mental image. You had to stop thinking about but once you started it was hard to get it out of your mind.

At around seven that night you stagger into the Saloon, not quite aware of how you’d got there. You must have just wandered over and gone inside. Not many people are in the Saloon, it was a Tuesday night after all. Normally it was more crowded on the weekends. You notice that Shane is standing in his usual corner and you try to avoid making eye contact with him as you make your way to the bar. Gus gives you a grin as you sit on one of the stools, “Good to see you! You know you’re always welcome here. You want a beverage?”

You’re aware you’re nodding but not sure as to what. He slides a mug of beer over to you and you take it gratefully, taking a gulp.

“Wow, never seen you drink before.” Emily says, smiling at you. Her smile usually makes your heart beat ten times fast and makes your face feel hotter than a furnace but it doesn’t have the same effect on you tonight. Maybe she notices because she walks over and leans over the bar to you. “Hey, is something wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I saw something all right.” You say without thinking. You grimace, setting the beer down. You don’t like beer, why did you order it?

“Oooh spooky! So, it was a ghost?”

You feel a smile creep up on you and you shake your head, “No not that. Just something… I didn’t expect I guess.”

“Well sometimes that’s a good thing. If life becomes too predictable it’s boring.”

“I’ll give you that. Today certainly wasn’t boring.” You say, taking another sip and wincing.

Emily tilts her head, “Wanna talk about it?”

You shake your head, “I can’t. It kinda has to do with a promise I made.”

“Ah gotcha.” Emily makes a motion of zipping her lips shut. “Let me know if you want another one.” She winks at you before grabbing a couple glasses and walking over to Clint and Willy’s table.

_Marry me_ , you think to yourself as you watch her go. You sigh and down the mug, standing up from the bar. You put the gold you owe Gus on the bar and start to leave. There are a pair of- wait, you reach down and check you back pocket and let out an exhale of relief. Still in your back pocket. Those shorts are burning a hole in your back pocket and it’s time you get rid of them.

As you exit the barn and start toward Lewis’s manor you hear your name being called. You’re a bit tipsy from the beer, it just takes one nowadays to make your head all fuzzy after all the work you do, and you’re smiling as you turn around but then you freeze. Shane had followed you out and even though it was dark, you could see by the light coming from the light posts that he did _not_ look happy.

“So, he went to see her again did he?” He says walking toward you.

“I-… what?”

“She told me she was gonna end it but I shoulda known better.” Shane comes to a stop in front of you, glowering. “And he was too much of a coward to get his underwear back after he snuck out.”

“I can honestly say I have _no_ idea what you’re talking about.” Well you are being semi-honest at least.

“Underwear, purple, back pocket.” He gives you a look. “You got big pockets there but not big enough to hide those monstrosities.”

“How… how do you know they’re not mine?”

Shane laughs at that, so either he’s drunken enough that he’s reached the point where he’s in a good mood or hasn’t drunken at all and he’s making fun of you. “Okay, ignoring the entertaining picture that gives me, you’re way too small for those.”

You’re not sure if he’s complimenting you or insulting you. You wince. “Okay okay fine… he asked me to get them. _Discreetly_. I didn’t know they’d be… there.”

“Why couldn’t he just get them his own damn self?” Shane’s voice had lightened a bit but now it was back to being grumpy.

“I don’t know I’m just the messenger! Er, gatherer! And stop shouting!”

“ _You’re_ the one shouting!”

“Well now you are too!” You walk forward, shushing the both of you. You stumble over the path a bit, making you look tipsier than you are. “Please, Shane can you just not say anything about this? Lewis needed a favor and I don’t have a lot of friends yet so I’m trying to do something nice for him.”

“Really? That’s your excuse? That you have no friends?”

“I didn’t say _no_ friends. We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“We aren’t friends.” He pauses, looking slightly uncomfortable. “I mean… maybe we are but… as you’ve probably noticed I’m not so good at ‘friends’.”

“Well,” You’re grasping at straws here. “Friends keep each other’s secrets. So, if you keep this one for me, then you are my friend.”

“It’s not your secret though.”

“… I did sneak into your aunt’s room. Did you tell her about that?”

Shane rubs the back of his head, “No….”

“So, we’re friends!” You give him a smile. “And if you keep this quiet I will totally make it up to you. You can count on me.”

“Yeah I know.” Shane looks over his shoulder, “Everyone knows that.” He sighs, “Fine, I won’t say anything. This time. But she’s gotta stop seeing that jerk.”

“ _Thank you_. And for the record, your aunt’s a grown woman. She can date whoever she wants.” Shane grumbles something unintelligible but doesn’t glare at you like he usually would. You nudge his shoulder, “But it’s sweet you’re so concerned for her.”

He gives you something that reminds you of a pout (you kinda think that’s cute on him- whooooooa there stop that train of thought). “I’m not sweet.”

You don’t mean to laugh but you can’t help it. You walk a bit past him, “How about I buy your next couple rounds? You think that’ll make it up to you?” Not such a good idea to encourage his bad habits but if you’re with him you can make sure he doesn’t drink too much at least.

Shane shrugs and it’s dark but you can swear he’s smiling. “It’s a start. Don’t you hate beer?”

You shrug back, opening the door to the Saloon. “Guess I can keep trying until I change my mind.”

* * *

 

After that night (and a killer headache the next morning why oh why do you have to wake up as soon as the sun rises) you wait another couple of days before going into town early in the morning, hoping no one would see you returning Lewis’s shorts. It’s a little after seven when you knock on Lewis’s door, wondering if he’s awake yet. When he doesn’t answer, you knock a few more times, annoyed. Yes, it was early but you’ve through enough trouble with these shorts. At this point you just wanted them gone.

After another minute or so, the door opens a crack and Lewis sticks his head out, “Who would be- oh! Hello farmer! My my, it is early? Shouldn’t you be watering crops?”

“I actually got the sprinkler system working last week.”

“Oh, that’s good news! Your grandfather would be proud of all the progress you’ve made. But,” He looks around, “What are you doing here so early? I usually don’t leave the house until ten.”

You sigh and take the shorts out from your backpack, “I found these, and I wanted to give them to you when no one was around.”

Lewis’s mouth drops open, “Oh! Oh yes yes! Good idea!” He opens the door wider, “Why don’t you come in and put those away....”

“I uh found them in Marnie’s room.” You say walking inside the doorway, “…it’s a long story.”

“Oh.” He says again, closing the door and turning beet red. “Oh… how’d they end up there hehe?”

“I’ve thought about it a lot and honestly, I _don’t_ want to know. So here,” You hand over the shorts, “Please for Yoba’s sake take these back.”

“Yes of course.” Lewis grabs the shorts from you, moving them behind his back, like you haven’t had them in your possession for the past two days. “And I think it’s best we just… forget about this little predicament.”

“Yeah I think that’s best. I’ll see you around mayor.” Lewis is puzzled at first but then he moves aside so you can pass by. You open the door and pause, thinking about how Shane had been so protective of Marnie.

You turn back to Lewis, “Hey Lewis. Can I ask a question?”

“Sure sure anything.” He seems like he just wants to get you out of his house right now.

“Why don’t you want to tell anyone? Marnie… she’s really special. She’s a good friend and very caring and she deserves to be happy and all this sneaking around… it’s not making her happy I think.” You lick your lips, not believing that you’re saying this (to the mayor of all people!), “If you care about her, you’d want her to be happy.”

Lewis looks at you like you’ve suddenly sprouted warts and declared a curse upon his household. He doesn’t say anything for a moment and then opens his mouth but no sound comes out. When he sobers up he finally shakes his head, his face still red, “I understand what you’re saying but as mayor I have a certain role to uphold. Besides this is- this is a private matter and nothing to do with you!” He ushers you out the door and onto his lawn. “Thank you very much for all your hard work but it’s very early and I have to get ready to do… mayorly things today!” And with that he closes the door in your face.

“… you’re welcome!” You shout, giving him a wave through the window you seem him peeking out of. You smile to yourself as you walk back up the street towards the farm. You pass Shane on his way to Joja as you go. “What’re you smiling about?” He grumbles, shuffling past you.

“I’m shorts free!” You call back to him, practically skipping

* * *

 

A year later and your farm is prospering (“prospering” here means “not just a bunch of rows of parsnips and one potato plant). You have a filled barn and coop and you’re even getting a stall for a horse. Most of your animals are grown and one cow just had a baby. Even one of your chickens is blue (a sure sign Shane was the one who sent them over when you ordered them after the shorts incident). You even have a date that night! (Zuzu city or camping, you remember those were the options and wonder where you’ll be taken tonight) You walk down the steps of your farmhouse, now expanded thanks to Robin and check your mail. There’s a recipe for chocolate chip cookies from Evelyn, a carp wrapped in paper from Linus, and a letter from Jodi thanking you for helping her with dinner last night. At the bottom is an envelope from the mayor’s office. Inside is a note with only a few words.

_I need truffle oil. No questions asked._

_\- Mayor Lewis_

**Author's Note:**

> I never thought I would love a farming simulator so much but Stardew Valley has me hooked. I didn't think of this story when I first got the mission but after completely Lewis's second mission I thought it would be fun to write (and boy it was, I find myself very funny even if no one else does). What you read was basically my experience. I remember finding Robin's axe easily and Linus's basket on a fluke but I could not find the purple "shorts" anywhere. I thought they'd be outside, snagged on a tree or something. Then I went to Marnie's house when no one was home and went into her bedroom and BAM there they were. I was stunned. Really. I didn't see it coming. And THEN I ran into Shane walking through town later and I shouted at the screen "DUDE YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I FOUND". I later found out you could put them in your grange display but I'd already given them back.
> 
> The ending has a couple easter eggs, whether the date you're going on is to Zuzu City for a griffball game (with Shane) or camping (with Emily). I did end up marrying Shane in the game but let me tell you it was close. Emily is literally sunshine I love her so much.
> 
> Thank you all for reading! Hope you found it as entertaining as I did!


End file.
